In recent weeks, bandsmen and women across the country have been dragging themselves with greater frequency to the band room, taking to the wintery roads and braving the cold, many of us doing so with a fresh look; a nuanced upgrade - a haircut!

This is because, despite the potential onset of hyperthermia, there is a contest on the horizon.

As we all know, contesting is an interesting hobby; one filled with custom, tradition, challenge and habits to bring one good luck. In the week building up to the contest, bands will meet most nights to rehearse the test-piece and, as the week progresses, many of the members will turn up with a 'contest hair cut', although for a number of men of a certain age, this will involve no more than the engagement of a sturdy pair of clippers.

The night before a contest, many colleagues will avoid consuming garlic because of its ability to dry your mouth out the following day (an alternative theory is that, by the time the night before a contest arrives, most players have already had the life sucked out of them and, as such, weren't the appetising treat they once might have been to the local friendly vampire). Others have a similar approach to bacon on the day of the contest because of its salty nature.

TRADITIONS

In last month's Let's Debate article, 'Band Contests - why bother?' James Gourlay deftly identified some key quirks that, thanks to the peculiarity of our contesting pastime, have for many now become commonplace: rummaging through the back quarter of the underwear draw to locate your lucky pants is one such tradition; searching for the prized budgie smugglers with whom you have shared more of your personal experiences than is probably healthy; pants that are full of holes; and dreams and pants that are, in reality, probably not that comfortable - searches that many a bandsperson will undertake on the morning of the contest.

Tying your tie a certain way and putting your shoes on in a certain order (you only have two?) is not uncommon, whilst cleaning your teeth before you play is surely just something you should have done after breakfast?!

Another banding contest day tradition is travelling on a bus and picking up personnel at more stops than your average London Underground line before eventually crawling into a hotel, pub or school to rehearse at, what is for most of us, an unusual hour of the day.

The rehearsal will begin with a hymn tune or three, played just long enough for you to lose any of the flexibility in your chops that your earlier warm-up might have generated before the excitement of the dreaded draw raises its head. At this point, the 'advanced algebra' team gets together to determine just how many bands an hour are going to perform and, consequently, at what time their own band will regroup before heading to the hall to play. Should band members go and listen to other bands before their own performance...?

DANGEROUS!

... You might get brainwashed! Best to spend the day in isolation, keeping the company of others who are sporting your band’s highly attractive and comfortable 'walking out' uniform. For many non-banding colleagues, the ‘walking out’ uniform is a mystery, especially as it's a suit that is switched in favour of a 'performance suit' and then changed back into to later on. This last part, as we all know, is to...

 

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Cartoon by Nezzy